Ben Affleck vs. Casey Affleck
Battle of the Afflecks

Casey was the sidekick, the caddie, the second banana. Ben was starring in Chasing Amy while Casey was playing "Little Kid." Ben was landing movies like Armageddon and Pearl Harbor while Casey was uncredited in American Pie. Ben was stepping in for Harrison Ford and Casey was standing slightly behind and to the left of Ben.

But look who's laughing now! Casey is! Because Casey's turned into the cool, what-could-have-been version of his older, puffier, took-the-road- more-traveled-and- it-led-to- a-buffet- and-a-meeting- with-Joel Silver brother. Casey's starring in Lonesome Jim, directed by Steve Buscemi while Ben is starring in Have Another Latte, Big Boy in the pages of US Weekly. Casey's next film is The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford while Ben's next film is Clerks 2. Ben's last film was Surviving Christmas, which is now not being rented at a Blockbuster near you.

Casey is engaged to Summer "Yes, Those Phoenixes" Phoenix, while Ben is married to Jennifer "No, not that Jennifer" Garner. Casey and Summer recently had a son, and we haven't seen one single photo of him anywhere. Ben and Jennifer apparently also had a child recently, though they've kept it very hush-hush, unless you live on Earth.

Simply put, which Affleck are you more likely to see: on the movie screen, in a magazine, at your local Starbucks? Ben. Ben. Ben. Now, which Affleck would you rather see: on the movie screen, in a magazine, at your local Starbucks? Casey. Casey. Casey.

In summation: a duck walks to center stage and says, simply, "Affleck!"

But we know which one he, and we, are rooting for.

Advantage: The mighty Casey