Jason Alexander vs. Nathan Lane
Battle of the Fey Fatties

In some circles, Nathan Lane is regarded as a skilled -- even exceptional -- actor. For instance, the circle of people who award Tonys, of which Lane has won two, including one for the insanely popular and successful Broadway musical adaptation of The Producers. But to the rest who have nothing to do with the Tonys, Lane is really nothing special. He's headlined two sitcoms, both of which failed. Granted, he happens to be in not one but two movies opening this week, one has him playing an effeminate third banana (behind Sean Hayes...as it were) to soap hunk Josh Duhamel, and the other features only his voice. (In case you didn't already learn their titles when you were putting the latest clippings in your Nathan Lane scrapbook, those movies would be Win A Date With Tad Hamilton! and Teacher's Pet, respectively.) Also dotting the shoulders along the road to Lane's career obsolescence are such lowlights as the Jacqueline Susann biopic Isn't She Great (we know it's a hypothetical non-question but...not really, no) and Nicholas Nickleby, largely unseen by any human eyes.

And then there's the voice work. Like, did you know that Lane is still busting out that Timon voice pretty much any and every time Disney asks him to? But then, in addition to that, there's Stuart Little and its sequel, and this Teacher's Pet affair, and George & Martha, and Titan A.E., and need I go on? The man has a Tony! He's not our cup of tea -- in fact, we have yet to meet anyone whose very favourite actor is Nathan Lane, and we don't anticipate doing so anytime...ever -- but he should have a good enough agent and manager to have steered him into a more respectable and profitable direction than they have done thus far. Sure, we realize that the casting directors on Hamilton didn't call in Lane to audition for the role of Tad, since Lane is short and stocky and rather girly -- the short and stocky have a limited number of roles to choose from -- but really now...come on.

Maybe that's why Jason Alexander -- himself short and stocky and somewhat girly -- has taken no other career action but to ape Lane's choices exactly. Failed sitcom (Bob Patterson). Following a legitimate career highlight (Seinfeld) with a passel of bad movies (The Adventures Of Rocky & Bullwinkle, among several others). Plentiful v/o work? Alexander's earned several checks (in both senses of the word) there -- the Aladdin TV series, Duckman, Dilbert, etc. etc. And then there's Alexander's sideline, picking up roles once Lane has finished with them. First, he played Buzz -- a role Lane originated on the stage -- in the film version of Love! Valor! Compassion!. Then, he took the Max Bialystock role in the L.A. stage production of The Producers.

Sometimes the stars really do our work for us. This is one such time.

Advantage: Girl, please. If Jason Alexander is Nathan Lane Jr. -- as could not be more obvious, frankly -- then obviously the advantage goes to Nathan Lane Sr.