Geena Davis vs. Jamie Lee Curtis
Battle of the Bimbos Past Their Prime

This is not the first time we've used this space to detail the special challenges faced by a female actor whose career is largely based on her physical characteristics -- namely, that when those start to go south, so do her professional prospects.

It does seem, to this observer, that in our enlightened times, there is a significant and growing market for sexy thirty- and fortysomething women on our screens. Consider Oscar nominee and new face of Lancôme Juliette Binoche (age thirty-seven), Oscar winner Marcia Gay Harden (age forty-one), perennial installation of lists of beautiful famous people Michelle Pfeiffer (age forty-two), Emmy- and Golden Globe-winning TV star Sela Ward (age forty-four), Celine mannequin Rene Russo (age forty-seven), and recent Joey Tribbiani bedmate Susan Sarandon (age fifty-four), just to name a few. There is still, it seems, a greater demand for women to play hot moms and vivacious wives than ever before, and we are all the richer for it.

But what of the women who didn't make it onto the list above -- those who aren't being draped with awards (or, at least, haven't for quite some time, and probably don't expect to be in the near future), tempted with cosmetics contracts, or fellated on Inside the Actors Studio? What of the second-tier sexy mom, eking out a hardscrabble existence in Hollywood's ditches, ever one short step away from oblivion? What of Jamie Lee Curtis (age forty-two) and Geena Davis (age forty-four)?

Despite the fact that the list of Curtis's credits is exactly twice that of Davis's, their careers have followed parallel tracks. In the beginning, they were cast primarily for their bodies -- Curtis in movies like Death of a Centerfold: The Dorothy Stratten Story and her many woman-in-peril horror movies, and Davis in Tootsie. Their comic timing soon came to the fore in movies like Trading Places (Curtis) and Transylvania 6-5000 (Davis). They enjoyed critical acclaim in A Fish Called Wanda (Curtis) and The Accidental Tourist (Davis; she also won a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for her efforts). They did some terrible thrillers -- Curtis in Virus, among many others, and Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight. They each did a forgettable sitcom -- Curtis in Anything But Love and Davis in this season's The Geena Davis Show. Bringing us up to the present, they're both playing sexy moms in sequels to their most popular films -- Davis in Stuart Little 2 and Curtis in True Lies 2.

"So?" we imagine you're thinking. "So they copied each other. So they're career clones. So what?" "So," indeed. So, hasn't each of them diluted her brand? Hasn't it been a long, long time since you heard yourself say you couldn't wait to see "that new Jamie Lee Curtis movie" (like the current Tailor of Panama) or "the long-awaited Cutthroat Island followup"? Isn't it the case that when you hear the name of Jamie Lee Curtis, you think of her cell-phone endorsement? And when you hear the name of Geena Davis, don't you remember that time she wore that sheer dress to the Emmys and you totally saw her pubes? Does either of them really bring anything to the sexy-mom table anymore? Do you get the impression that either one of them is any casting director's first choice?

So? So, Davis and Curtis are in competition over the same small pool of roles Michelle Pfeiffer and Sela Ward wouldn't wipe their respective asses with. It's too bad for Curtis that Davis has an Oscar, because it's just about the only edge Lady Godiva's got.

Advantage: Davis, but only by a hair