Felicity Huffman vs. Erin Brockovich-Ellis
Battle of the Brusque Blondes

Wow, that Erin Brockovich-Ellis is really doing well for herself, isn't she? First, she parlayed her hard-fought legal victory against that evil water-poisoning company into a eponymous movie starring Julia Roberts. Then she landed a gig hosting Final Justice with Erin Brockovich on Lifetime, on which she details the brave legal struggles of other women. Then she earned a long-running guest spot as "Julia Wilcox" on Frasier -- a delightful and dangerous sparring partner for Roz. And now she's starring in the new Showtime series Out of Order. You go, paralegal girl!

Wait a second -- that's not Erin Brockovich-Ellis! That's some sort of Brockovichian-Ellisian impostor! Someone named...Felicity Huffman!

Of course, before Erin Brockovich came out, Felicity Huffman's career was humming along -- she starred in the short-lived but beloved Sports Night -- and, frankly, no one had a clue as to who the real Erin Brockovich was or, frankly, what she looked like. Even after the movie came out, all we knew about the real-life Brockovich was that she apparently shopped exclusively from the Frederick's of Hollywood catalogue. But then came the Oprah appearances, the talk shows, and, now, the Lifetime series. And now that Brockovich-Ellis is Brockovich-famous, her face is quite recognizable -- as the face of Felicity Huffman!

Wouldn't it just be the pits to see a movie made about a woman whom you look exactly like, and you don't even get to play that woman? Instead, the part goes to Julia Roberts, who doesn't look like anyone, except Eric Roberts?

Then again, Huffman is married to William H. Macy and is the one who's starring in this new enigmatic Showtime series, Out of Order -- you know, the show with the mysterious ads in which the entire cast is floating neck deep in water, fully clothed. Apparently, it's some sort of compelling, envelope-pushing drama about lifeguards or, perhaps, faulty pipe valves. In any case, Huffman's doing all right. And now that that rotini-tressed moppet has vacated the airwaves, she can return to her quest to become America's most famous Felicity. Now if only she can get her face back.

Advantage: Huffman -- we predict this is one battle that Erin Brockovich-Ellis won't win! Case dismissed.