Battle of the Sombre Brunette Sidekicks
Melina Kanakaredes vs. Jorja Fox vs. Kim Delaney vs. Amy Brenneman

We know there are those out there who'll say, "What? Amy Brenneman is totally superior to Kim Delaney!" or "Melina Kanakaredes has an entirely different skill set than Jorja Fox!" Granted, we suspect those people are also responsible for allthingsamybrenneman.com and kingdomofkanakaredes.tv.

Because, as far as we're concerned, we could just as easily call this a battle between Melina Kanakaredes vs. Jorja Fox vs. Kim Delaney vs. Amy Brenneman vs. Marg Halgenberger vs. Mariska Hargitay vs. Angie Harmon vs. Jill Hennessy, et al. This is no slight to the fine female actresses listed above; to be honest, we couldn't possibly slight them since we can't even tell them apart.

And we guess that the proliferation of a certain type of actress is a natural by-product of a proliferation of a certain type of show. To wit, we now have three shows (C.S.I., Law & Order, NYPD Blue) with seven (and counting) franchise spin-offs between them (including the new-this-fall C.S.I.: New York, which features Melina Kanakaredes as the Sombre Brunette Sidekick, or SBS).

As we've noted on previous occasions, this kind of show consistently employs virtually identical casts, in the way that superhero groups always have roughly the same make-up (a brainy, serious leader; a strong guy; an agile, acrobatic guy/woman; a hotheaded, possibly feral guy; a sensitive woman whose power has to do with empathy or healing; a guy who does card tricks and gives really good massages. Okay, not that last one -- but if only!).

Maybe the market for sombre brunette sidekicks is already saturated. But unlike black-lady sidekicks or icy-blonde sidekicks, the occasional sombre brunette sidekick actually gets to grow up to be a sombre brunette lead, like Jill Hennessy on Crossing Jordan or Brenneman on Judging Amy.

So right now, if we were Hollywood agents, we'd be busy signing every pleasingly pretty brunette in sight, assuming she has a good poker face and can stare intently at blood-spatter patterns without cracking up. Then again, right now, if we were Hollywood agents, we'd probably be standing out on the ledge of a building, looking down and leaning forward.

Advantage: Brenneman has her own show; Delaney was dumped from C.S.I.: Miami; Fox is in the doghouse after her failed walk-out on C.S.I., and Kanakaredes is on the new show where she gets to act with Gary Sinise. Plus, her name sounds like maracas shaking. So...Kanakaredes.