Matthew Lillard vs. Jeff Goldblum
Battle of the Lanky and Skeptical Science Guys

You know, not every 2 Stars 1 Slot has to be an epochal battle royale in which two virtually indistinguishable actors clash over one tiny sliver of territory in a struggle for their very livelihoods. Sometimes, the "battle" in question is more like a graceful succession, in which a veteran actor calmly cedes his treasured niche to a young up-and-comer, much as you might pass on a family heirloom. And unlike, say, the ongoing secret project by evil geniuses to replace aging actors with younger genetic duplicates -- you may know it as the Hollywood Gene Project -- this kind of torch-passing doesn't involve two actors who are uncannily identical and who are essentially meant to be swapped one for the other with no one the wiser. Rather, it's a simple and solemn procession from one niche player to the next, from a wizened elder to his eager heir.

Now, we aren't suggesting that Jeff Goldblum actually phoned up Matthew Lillard and said, "You know what, kid? I'm tired of carrying the wacky hipster skeptical scientist load all by my lonesome, so how about you take the reins while I retreat to a comfy semi-retirement of voice-over work for iMac?" But this is, in essence, what has happened, and both men are better for it. Now Goldblum can...well, retreat to a comfy semi-retirement of voice-over work for iMac, a project he long ago set in motion. Since The Lost World in 1997, he's had fifteen screen credits, and in six of these he plays himself -- a habit that is to retirement in Hollywood as teeing off is to retirement in Tempe.

Meanwhile, Matthew Lillard must have been chewing his nails to the nubs trying to devise a way to keep his thus-far inexplicable career alive -- after all, when your résumé contains the words Summer Catch, Wing Commander, She's All That, Without Limits, and Hackers, you've got to figure that, at some point somebody's going to notice, and that there's going to be a terrible reckoning. Sure, he landed the coveted "Shaggy" role in Scooby Doo, but he's long needed an insurance plan for his adult years -- something to fall back on when the kids wake up, turn seventeen, and discover that they've been tricked into watching the same movie over and over again, all with different titles and all starring Freddie Prinze Jr., and this guy.

Then, bingo -- Lillard nabs the Goldblum part in 13 Ghosts. You know, the brainy-scientist-in-funny-glasses part, also known as the "I wouldn't touch that if I were you -- I told you not to touch that" part. Watching Lillard in 13 Ghosts is like watching a Jeff Goldblum muppet baby -- a kid's version of the same old character for a whole new generation to discover. Of course, their styles are not identical, or even similar -- whereas Goldblum was so laconic that at times he appeared to be napping, Lillard is like a hyperactive child on an island that's under a Ritalin embargo. But, you know, each new generation gets the wacky scientist in funny glasses that it deserves.

Advantage: Lillard.