Eva Mendes vs. Eva Longoria
Battle of the Saucy Latina Actresses Named Eva

Pity Eva Mendes. Some years back, she was considered a suitable cover subject for GQ magazine. Now she's not even the most famous woman in Hollywood named "Eva."

Mendes received an impressive, Penélope Cruz-esque publicity push back in 2003; the main difference between her and Cruz being that, whereas Cruz had worked with Pedro Almodóvar, Mendes's résumé consisted essentially of a very brief and very nude cameo in Training Day and a then-upcoming role in 2 Fast 2 Furious. She still had yet to make much of an impact. Ironically, her biggest film thus far is still Hitch, which no one remembers she was in, because she was upstaged by Kevin James.

What's worse -- of course, much worse -- is the concurrent ascendancy of Eva Longoria of Desperate Housewives fame. Now, we're not suggesting that starring as one of an ensemble of comely ladies on a zeitgeist-capturing hit is a guarantee of career prosperity and longevity. If that were true, then Sheryl "Who Killed Laura Palmer?" Lee would be Hollywood's greatest star and not the woman recast as DH narrator Mary Alice after the show's first, ill-fated, never-aired pilot.

And, granted, Longoria had little of note on her résumé, pre-Housewives: There was a The Young And The Restless here, a Senorita Justice there. (Yes, really.) Hey, couldn't that just as easily be Eva Mendes's CV? Is there so much to choose from between that and Exit Wounds or Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror?

In fact, for a while, all that separated Eva Mendes and the as-yet-unheard-of Eva Longoria was Mendes's uncanny ability to elbow her way onto magazine covers. Then Longoria landed a hit show. And not a few magazine covers of her own.

We actually like Mendes in one role: as a ditzy aspiring actress in the Farrelly brothers' likable Siamese-twin comedy Stuck On You. Sure, it had the feel of a calculated, one-thriller/one-comedy campaign to prove Eva's versatility and, sure, it was the definition of not-a-stretch. But she was endearing and cute.

The problem is, now if you talk about Eva's versatility, or Eva's cuteness, or Eva's anything else, no one thinks you're talking about Eva Mendes.

As Evas go, Mendes may as well forget about catching Longoria and start worrying about Eva Birthistle: star of Breakfast On Pluto; named in 2004 as one of European films' Shooting Stars by European Film Promotion; and the owner, according to the IMDb, of a licence to operate farm machinery. Birthistle's on her tractor, Mendes, and she's gaining on you.

Advantage: Longoria, if that wasn't clear.