Jeremy Northam vs. Jason Isaacs
Battle of the Sexy Yet Sinister Studs

As far as pure, raw sex appeal is concerned, British men have been getting a bad rap lately. First, Leah McLaren bitched that British men weren't sufficiently libidinous for her tastes. Then Gwyneth Paltrow backed her up by saying they sucked at dating (although now that she's found at least one British man who meets her high, exacting standards, she may want to retract some of her comments on the subject). British women have a much better reputation, at least in the popular imagination. Think of British women, and you picture whichever "English Rose" -- Kate Winslet, Emily Mortimer, Madonna...kidding! -- most closely matches your ideal. Think of a British man, and you picture pasty skin, a string-bean physique, and bad teeth. (In other words: Prince Charles.)

In recent years, however, a cadre of British actors has emerged -- seemingly with the sole object of broadening our mental picture of British manhood to include the studly. Ralph Fiennes? Studly adulterer. Hugh Grant? Studly cad. Colin Firth? Studly Regency-era misanthrope. Jeremy Northam and Jason Isaacs jointly fill the niche of studly sometime villains.

As is so often the case with 2 Stars 1 Slot profilees -- nearly always, in fact -- Isaacs and Northam are hard to tell apart physically as well as professionally. They're both a little bug-eyed (especially Isaacs) and big-nosed (especially Northam). Northam is a little taller; Isaacs is a little more leathery.

Northam and Isaacs do have some distinguishing features. Northam is the one more likely to turn up in period pictures -- Possession, Gosford Park, The Golden Bowl, An Ideal Husband, The Winslow Boy, Amistad, Emma, Carrington, Wuthering Heights...DAMN, buddy has been in a lot of costume dramas! Isaacs's thing is being the really well-spoken guy in a military movie, often produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, such as Windtalkers, Black Hawk Down, Armageddon, or Event Horizon. So, there's another way you can tell them apart: Isaacs is more likely to appear onscreen in a flak jacket, while Northam is more often seen in breeches and hose. Now, when it's a military drama set in the past -- like The Patriot or Enigma -- you're on your own.

Jason Isaacs and Jeremy Northam probably feel they've marked out very distinct and entirely unique career paths for themselves. But for those of us raised in the '80s, they're just the two latest descendants of Timothy Dalton -- all dark and smooth, flinty of eye and menacing of voice, even when they're not playing bad guys.

But even if half of this matchup has sub-specialized in military ops, while the other has sub-specialized in embroidered waistcoats, that doesn't mean most of the public can immediately tell them apart. No: two men have entered, and one will leave (having beaten the other until he's a bloody pulp, or a girl) -- and who will the victor be? Two years ago, we would have said -- in terms of sheer sexiness -- Northam was a mortal lock. But dude, did you see Emma? Hot. But then along came Possession, and a hairstyle a little too reminiscent of Mike Nesmith's circa Season Two of The Monkees (minus the green toque). Also, there's the little matter of turning up in the pre-flopped flop The Singing Detective. Jason Isaacs didn't get the job done for us in The Patriot or Black Hawk Down, but maybe his dual role as Mr. Darling and Captain Hook in this winter's Peter Pan will turn things around for him...?

Advantage: Nah. Northam still gets us all aflutter, even in his muttonchops and knickers.