Haley Joel Osment vs. Spencer Treat Clark
Battle of the Tri-Named Tousle-Headed Moppets

Consider the case of Spencer Treat Clark. Really, we can only feel sympathy for Spencer, who must have endured many awkward moments on the set of Unbreakable, as M. Night Shyamalan repeatedly said, "Haley...I mean, Spailey...I mean, Spencer." (No doubt the young actor was too shy to exact revenge by calling the director, "Day...I mean, Dusk...I mean, Night.") Shyamalan has said in interviews that he feels he's discovered a sure-fire formula for making runaway blockbusters. What he didn't mention is that the formula consists in part of maintaining a stable of tri-named child actors, all of whom are perfect replicas of Haley Joel Osment. Coming in 2001: M. Night Shyamalan's The Final Wall, starring Bruce Willis and Cameron Wade Dawson! Christian Black Phillips! Turner Pete Wilson!

Ironically, 2000 was a very good year for Spencer Treat Clark, who also turned up as the young Lucius in Gladiator. But watching him on-screen in Unbreakable, it's hard not to feel slightly melancholy, much in the same way you felt when you first heard that Peter Bogdonavich had married the younger, near-identical sister of his slain ex-wife Dorothy Stratten, or first watched that episode of Family Ties where Alex tries to get his new girlfriend to wear Ellen's old perfume.

At one time, not long ago, young Spencer Treat Clark was well on his way to establishing himself as the preeminent three-named, tousle-headed moppet in all of Hollywood. As recently as the start of 1999, he had two high-profile roles in the works (Arlington Road and Double Jeopardy), while Osment's most noteworthy credits were Young Forrest Gump, The Jeff Foxworthy Show, and something called Cab to Canada. But one sleeper hit and an Oscar nomination later, and Osment had wrested away the crown and nuzzled it tightly on his own tousle-headed, er, head, no doubt screaming "Pay this forward, sucker!" Or, at least, that's how we like to imagine it.

Advantage: Osment.