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Pauly Shore vs. Rob Schneider
Battle of the Low-Rent Comedy Franchises
Maybe it was the sight of Rob Schneider trolling the recent Maxim Hot 100 party at L.A.'s Moomba, or the fact that Schneider's grown out his thinning hair into a vampiric neo-mullet, or simply those relentless, 100% laugh-free promos for The Animal, but at some point, it became clear: Pauly Shore is now obsolete.
In the nineties, Shore was best known for two vocations:
- churning out lookalike, high-concept pseudo-comedies like Jury Duty and Bio-Dome, which no one you know would admit to having seen, let alone enjoyed, and yet were apparently successful enough at least to merit the production of another Pauly Shore vehicle, and
- spending his off-hours haunting parties attended by pontoon-breasted women.
With the release this week of The Animal, coming on the heels of the stealth hit Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo, Schneider now seems ready to accept Shore's mantle in both of these pursuits, and succeed Shore as America's favourite low-rent (and, assumably, high-rental) comedy franchise. The only discernible difference between the two is that where Shore specialized in a hapless stoner schtick, Schneider substitutes a hapless goofball schtick; otherwise, Schneider is an eerie, slightly distasteful echo of Shore, like the sound of a drunk belching off a mountaintop.
Thankfully, for the sake of Hollywood familial cohesiveness, Shore has graciously agreed to cede his role to Schneider without a tussle, instead stepping out of the spotlight forever, a plan he set into motion several years ago by starring in The Curse of the Inferno and The Bogus Witch Project.
Advantage: Come on. The Bogus Witch Project? Schneider, until further notice.
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