Heather Thomas vs. Heather Locklear
Battle of the Blonde-Haired Sexpots Named Heather

Like, seriously. How are we supposed to tell these two apart?

For starters, they're both named Heather. Second, they both play cops, or sort-of cops -- Heather Locklear as Officer Stacy Sheridan on T.J. Hooker, and Heather Thomas as apprentice bounty hunter Jody Banks on The Fall Guy.

In reality, both are essentially employed as blonde-bimbo arm-candy for hunky studs: for Locklear, it's Adrian Zmed; for Thomas, it's Lee Majors. And to further confuse matters, Thomas made a recent guest appearance on T.J. Hooker while Locklear's made two guest appearances on The Fall Guy. They've also both been on The Love Boat -- of course.

Oh, and did we mention that they both appeared on The Battle of the Network Stars XII?

Together! As teammates!

Uh, hello? Ladies? You're not helping!

Well, young Ms. Locklear, you might think you have the advantage, thanks to the fans you've won as Samantha Josephine "Sammy Jo" Dean Reece Carrington Fallmont on Dynasty. But wait -- there's an APB coming over the police radio! And it ain't from T.J. Hooker! It's from America, telling you they've already fallen for a blonde sexpot named Heather -- Heather Thomas!

Why? One word, baby: Zapped!

Sorry, Heather Locklear, but we're guessing your career is just about winding down. And we're pretty confident that in about, say, twenty years, you'll be starring in straight-to-video movies with titles like Hidden Obsession, while Heather Thomas will be a sought-after sitcom comedienne, married to a rock star, and totally not the other way around.

Advantage: Thomas. Because, Heather Locklear, you just can't out-pretty Adrian Zmed.