Janet Wright vs. Lois Smith
Battle of the Long-Haired, Brazen but Twinkly Matrons

If you, like us, saw The Perfect Storm this weekend, then you, like us, may well have spotted the long-haired, brazen but twinkly matron, Ethel Shatford, and thought to yourself (as we did), "Where do I know that woman from?" And you may have concluded, as we did, that you were recognizing her as the same woman who played the brazen but twinkly long-haired matron, Aunt Meg, in Twister. After all, both have long, graying hair and both are chock-a-block with the kind of time-tested wisdom that only a brazen but twinkly matron can pass on to her sea-faring fishermen sons/twister-chasing niece. So naturally you might assume, as we did, that these two parts were played by the same woman. And you, like us, would be wrong.

The former -- salty Ethel Shatford -- is played by Janet Wright, whereas the latter -- kindly Aunt Meg -- is played by Lois Smith. You still may not quite believe that they are two different people. We didn't. But we knew one thing for sure: If there's even one woman in Hollywood who specializes in wise, folksy, twinkly matrons, well then, by gum, she had to be in Fried Green Tomatoes. And we were right: Lois Smith was. In fact, The Perfect Storm aside, Ms. Smith would seem to have the market cornered on wise, folksy matrons: She has played, in her forty-five-year career, characters named Marge, Mary, Mare, Ma, Mama, Madge, Mother, Maude, and Meg -- you know, all the good, solid matron names.

Janet Wright, for her part, is the young upstart. In her comparatively brief twenty-nine-year career, she has managed to play a Eunice, a Martha Jane, a Fran, a Fanny, a Pearl, a Constance, and, now, an Ethel. Impressive, we admit. But, frankly, not impressive enough. Because while we enjoyed her salt-sprayed performance in The Perfect Storm, we now find ourselves kind of wishing that it had been Lois Smith all along, since she has clearly seeped into our consciousness as some sort of Platonic brazen but twinkly matron -- so much so that we find ourselves assuming that she's in movies that she isn't. Sorry, Janet Wright, but when you're up against that sort of market saturation -- well, let's just say that Lois Smith may well be the kind of twinkly matron we only see every hundred years or so. In fact, she may be the Perfect Twinkly Matron.

Advantage: Lois Smith.