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The Hammer And The Sickle, And Other Misleadingly Titled Films Of The Future

Noah Baumbach's The Squid And The Whale, a few weeks into its theatrical run, is earning rapturous reviews from nearly unanimous critics for its funny and unflinching portrait of the dissolution of a marriage between a squid and a whale.

Psych! It's about the divorce of a pair of New York intellectuals; although there is some allusion to a squid and a whale in a famous museum exhibit, moviegoers heading into theatres expecting a Godzilla vs. Mothra-type matchup will be sorely disappointed. Unfortunately, this kind of untruth in advertising is on the rise: Fametracker has acquired a list of titles for upcoming feature films, and the surprising topics they are actually about:

Movie Title

The Hammer And The Sickle

The Needle And The Damage Done

The Alpha And The Omega

The Tigris And The Euphrates

The Warp And The Weft

The Peanut Butter And The Jelly

The Bull And The Bear

The Box And The Scissors

The Blanket And The Pillow

The Cup And The Saucer

The Bits And The Bytes

The Shits And The Giggles

The Punch And The Kick

The Paint And The Brushes

The White Horse And The Yellow Knife

The Funk And The Wagnalls

The Cancer And The Capricorn

The Plunger And The Snake

The Bathrobe And The Slippers

The Father, The Son, And The Holy Ghost

Synopsis

A Boston debutante prepares for her cotillion.

Kip and Stinker are not model Wienerschnitzel employees.

Documentary feature about paper milling.

A rural housewife supports her family making stuffed toys.

Juan must accept that his banana dynasty won't last forever.

Documentary feature about the Rwandan genocide.

Addie plans to tell her son this will be her last Thanksgiving.

Love blooms on a deserted island.

Terrorists attack Nigerian oil rigs.

Robots replace human factory workers in a dystopian hellscape.

Developmentally delayed man becomes international playboy.

Halley's Comet threatens to destroy Earth.

An animated children's movie in which fruit teaches where babies come from.

Buddy-cop movie set in a vice squad.

Porn.

Suspense thriller about the Falkland Islands.

Love blooms under mysterious circumstances at Build-a-Bear Workshop.

Reunion comes at last for twin brothers separated by the Berlin Wall.

An Inuit boy comes of age while following a caribou herd across the tundra.

A squid fights a whale.

- WC