Stern - The Fametracker Eagle Fametracker - The Farmer's Almanac of Celebrity Worth

Tuesday the 30th of September - Fametracker is on hiatus until further notice; thanks for reading!

Regular Readings

Galaxy of Fame

2 Stars 1 Slot

The Fame Audit

Hey! It's That Guy!

Celebrity Vs. Thing

Blue Moons


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A Little of This and That - Blue Moons Blue Moon

Upcoming Zach Braff Projects

The Last Kiss has been marketed as a feel-good romantic comedy, but many viewers have found it's actually an anti-date movie: it's essentially about a guy (Zach Braff) who cheats on his beautiful pregnant fiancée (Jacinda Barrett) with a hot young college student (Rachel Bilson). Quite the catch, ladies!

No one should be surprised, though. In Braff's last film, Garden State, he played a disaffected twentysomething redeemed by the love of a gorgeous woman (Natalie Portman), who conveniently fell in love with him. Fametracker now senses that he's carving out a worthwhile and valuable niche in the romantic comedy field. As a quick glance at his forthcoming projects reveals, once again, Fametracker is correct.

Love Me Tender

Stefan (Zach Braff), a brilliant neurosurgeon, is conflicted when, during a trip to Milan to watch his supermodel wife (Famke Janssen) walk in her last runway show, he meets Luella (Gisele Bündchen), a younger, arguably more beautiful supermodel with a better car and a penchant for threesomes.

Count Me In

Jonathan (Zach Braff) is the talented frontman of an up-and-coming indie rock band. He's got a two-album contract, six Grammy nominations, and a fiancée who's both the glamorous head of his record label (Claire Forlani) and pregnant with his twins. He couldn't possibly want anything more -- at least not until he meets Zoe (Scarlett Johansson), a polymath and chess grandmaster who fronts a cutting-edge indie emo-punk band of her own, when's she's not working as a veterinarian!

Out At Home

Templeton Webber (Zach Braff), a two-time American League baseball MVP and surefire future hall-of-famer, is enjoying a brilliant season -- everywhere but at home. He's torn between his wife, Anna (Audrey Tautou), a Nobel prize-winning novelist and sex columnist, and Felicia (Jessica Alba), a brilliant young poet and former circus contortionist he meets on a road trip while both are doing charity work for children.

Four Play

Roderick (Zach Braff) is a soulful hedge-fund manager with billions in the bank and a new show of his brilliant abstract paintings opening in New York. He's also got an appetite for group sex, which he indulges at New York's hottest swingers' club, Four Play. During a threesome with an Olympic gymnast (Jessica Biel) and New York's assistant D.A. (Jennifer Garner), he happens to spot a leggy newcomer to the club -- Talandra Steele (Charlize Theron), the former porn star and newly appointed secretary general to the U.N. Three's a crowd -- but four's a party! Right, Roderick?

Choosers Can't Be Beggars

Willie (Zach Braff), a thriving Hollwood actor and future legend, is killed in a tragic car accident while being fellated simultaneously by his two bi-curious mistresses (Cameron Diaz and Kirsten Dunst). When he arrives in heaven, God (Woody Allen) tells him that, as a reward for his virtuous life and excellent, cutting-edge acting work, he can return to earth and take any woman he chooses as his wife. But who can choose, Willie? Who can choose?

- MFF