While we at Fametracker would certainly love to bring you up-close, and candid interviews with your favourite stars, getting access to these celebrities -- with their jam-packed schedules and legions of publicists -- can be time-consuming and, frankly, tedious. Why go through all that rigmarole, we figured, when there are so many perfectly serviceable celebrity interviews already out there?

Take, for example, a recent Q&A with Hal Sparks, former host of Talk Soup, which appeared on EW.com, the Entertainment Weekly website. Normally, getting access to a star of Sparks's magnitude would take hours -- even days -- of negotiations. Instead, we decided to pair our own, brand-new questions with Sparks's answers to the EW interview. Here, we present the Fametracker Hal Sparks Re-Interview.

Fametracker: So, what do you have in development right now?

Hal Sparks: Well, I'M in development. I'm as developed as I'm going to get right now.

FT: What kind of movies would you like to be doing? For example, let's say you could take a classic Eddie Murphy movie and make it better by inserting a star with a lot more talent -- a star like, say, Hal Sparks. How would you go about doing that?

Sparks: I envision the movies I want to do as Beverly Hills Cop with fighting. I'd swap out the gunplay and replace it with really good, well choreographed fighting.

FT: Well-choreographed fighting? Are you up for that? And what if the part also entails, say, explaining muon-catalysed hydrogen fusion? Or playing the guitar riff from Black Sabbath's "Iron Man"?

Sparks: I actually do have a quantum physics background, I'm trained in the martial arts, and I play guitar.

FT: Good lord! So what's the hardest thing about being the kind of Über-mensch that the Greeks were no doubt envisioning when they conjured their crude visions of the 'Gods'?

Sparks: The hardest thing is that I can do everything. The question is, What do you pare that down to?

FT: We guess the question is, What do you pare that down to -- wait a second! All right, let's move on. We've heard you are quite a messy eater, and that dining out with you can be a revolting experience. Is that true?

Sparks: There were some things that I let escape my lips that I've regretted later.

FT: We'll say! That bisque stains! But seriously, are you aware that TV can hurt people as well as help?

Sparks: I'm aware that TV can hurt people as well as help.

FT: Are there any current social ills you might be able to remedy?

Sparks: I can't control the nudity that may be on the Internet.

FT: Too true. But certainly there's something you could do if someone, say, put a picture of your head on Courteney Cox's nude body -- which is actually the body of a Romanian Playmate?

Sparks: If they put my head on Courteney Cox's nude body -- which is actually the body of a Romanian Playmate -- I can't help that. But I can enjoy it like the rest of America.

FT: We're enjoying it already. Thanks, Hal.