This week, Michael Jackson released a statement decrying the recent unauthorized biopic, Man in the Mirror, blasting the press that hound him and, finally, asking people to stop referring to him by his common nickname, "Wacko Jacko."

So, in the spirit of innovation and respect, we at Fametracker vow never to use "Wacko Jacko" again, and submit the following list of suggested alternate nicknames for the erstwhile King of Pop:

Fright-y Whitey

Luke Moonwalker

Dr. Weirdenstein

The Amazing Molesto

Stretch

L'il Cuckoo

The Museum of Surgical Mishaps

Ol' Man Black-No-More

The King of Being Nuts

Freaky McSqueaky

The White Shadow

The Human Pub Special ("Try The Spotted Dick")

Cap'n Touch-Yer-Pants

A-B-C, Simple as Me-Crazy

El Duque

Chimp My Ride

The One-Man-Wild-Slumber-Party

The Thrilla With Hands Like a Caterpilla

Mr. I.M. Loopy, Esquire

Butch

The Chairman of Your Private Parts

Wackson Jackson