Sure, IMDb can bring you the news:

"Filming on the two back-to-back sequels of Pirates Of The Caribbean has been dogged by a spate of real-life ocean thievery, according to reports from the Bahamas. Disney producers working on the swashbuckling Keira Knightley and Johnny Depp films reveal that two cast members have been forced to abandon the set for fear of their lives, after four brigand heists in a month."

But only Fametracker can bring you the story -- the real story! We've obtained the private diaries of one Andina Forenzo, an actress from Culver City, California, who spent two weeks on Pirates's Bahamas set for her role as Cantina Wench #2 -- and witnessed with her own eyes the thievish activity on set. She came face to face with the brigands! Here, we present her unedited account of two weeks of unmitigated terror at the hands of real-life pirates, give or take a couple of days.

Day One: OMG! I'm so excited to meet Johnny Depp. We're filming my cantina scenes today and he's supposed to wobble in, then belch. I hear he looks even cuter in this film, because he's wearing mascara AND lipstick AND rouge. Hilarious! Speaking of lipstick, I haven't been able to find mine anywhere. And it was my favorite MAC Doubleshot.

Day Three: Okay, so I haven't met Johnny Depp yet but his stand-in is cute lol! They say he'll be on set soon and until then we're shooting pick-up. I asked the makeup woman if they'd seen my lipstick and also my wallet's gone missing? Or maybe it's just under the bed in Orlando Bloom's trailer although I don't know how it got there, I'm sure! Seriously though we only kissed. Also, I'm not sleeping well because the parrots are, like, totally noisy here. Who knew there'd be so many?

Day Six: Okay, seriously, who would steal your undergarments on a film set? I'm missing three pairs of panties (???) and still no sign of that wallet. Johnny Depp also hasn't shown up yet but I smiled at his stand-in today and he smiled back! And who knows where it would have gone except this wild parrot starting flapping around the set saying "Dead men! Dead men!" in that squawky parrot voice until they caught it. And then Bill the gaffer took it out in like a bag to let it loose in the jungle but then we didn't see Bill again. Weird.

Day Seven: I'm lying in bed right now afraid to move. The parrot is on the window sill, watching me. Also, there's moans coming from the jungle. And I totally heard the sound of a one-legged man with one wooden leg coming up the walk toward our trailer that I'm sharing with three other girls, all like "tok tok, tok tok, tok tok," until I realized it was the ticking of my Garfield alarm clock. So cute!

Day Eight: We found Bill dead today. Well, not me, but Carlos the hair guy. God, he has a high voice when he screams. They told us Bill got sick with the flu then died after they flew him off the island but then why was he strung up in a tree? In front of a skull flag, like you know the kind? With the skull and two bones? Was he in a motorcycle gang?

Day Eleven: We came back to find our trailer under attack from cannon-fire, by which I mean me, Anna, the other Anna, and Jules, who plays Wharf Whore #5 and is awesome. So the whole trailer was rocking which made me think "Uh oh, Anna's inside with Johnny Depp's stand-in, that bitch," and there was this loud booming but I thought maybe it's the new Korn. Until I realized Anna was right beside me, with the other Anna. And Johnny Depp's stand-in hates Korn, he said. So we went into the trailer and sure enough! Pirate attack! Like, a huge pirate ship had pulled up alongside the trailer and was firing cannons at us! Omigod it was loud, my ears are still ringing, like even more than after that time we camped too close to a speaker at the Vans Warped Tour. So I said to Anna "Call security," but she couldn't hear me, she just mouthed What? And I said it again and she couldn't hear so I thought Fuck it, I'll do it myself, which is when the cannonball took her in an explosion of flame and flesh. Gross.

Day Twelve: They came in through the windows. First, the parrot, who cast a shadow on our walls. Then the pirates! They took us! Me, the other Anna, and Jules, and Lori, who's Keira Knightley's stand-in and got moved into our bunk after the cannon attack, and who's okay. The hairiest one came at me. I know Jules will say hers was the hairiest but mine was the hairiest, I swear! And his breath was disgusting, OMG! No teeth and who knows when he last took a shower. He scooped me up and I swear he said "Arrrrr!" Like, for real! Which made me think I better hit the gym when I get home. Like, am I a lard-ass now? And he swooped me up and it was nothing like I thought it would be with Johnny Depp, or even his stand in. And I don't know what would have become of me if my pirate, the hairy one, hadn't spotted Orlando Bloom and taken a fancy and dropped me in the mud. Something horrible, I'm sure. Something bad, judging from Orlando's screams.