It's only natural that newspapers and magazines across the nation should cover the shoplifting case against Winona Ryder as though it were a rerun of the Rosenberg trial. And it's only natural that they should write about said trial under clever, punning headlines based on the starlet's own movies, like "Ryder, Interrupted" or "For Ryder, Reality Bites."

But are the nation's editors unaware that Ryder has starred in literally dozens of movies? That she's had a long and successful career dating back to the mid-1980s? Why stop with these two familiar and conveniently titled hits, when there are any number of movie titles on Ms. Ryder's résumé, waiting to be mined for tomorrow's over-the-fold banner headlines?

Here, as a public service, Fametracker provides an extensive selection of Winona-Ryder-movie-titles- cum-shoplifting-trial-headlines, now available free of cost to the overworked members of the nation's media corps:

How to Filch An American Quilt

The Age of Innocence Until Proven Guilty

The Big House of the Spirits

Mr. Felonious Deeds

Little Women of Cell Block "C"

Welcome Home From Your 50 Hours Of Community Service, Roxy Carmichael

Lost Souls, Later Recovered

Being John Malkovich's Friend the Convicted Shoplifter

Night On Earth, in Jail

Beetlejacked

Edward Stickyfingers

Edward Snipoffthetagwithyourscissorhands

Great Balls of Guilty!