A recent news item reported that the producers of Snakes On A Plane ordered five extra days of shooting, spurred by internet interest in the film. With the aim of getting the film's rating bumped from PG-13 to R, the filmmakers have added the line "I want these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane!," as well as, according to the news report, "more gore, more deaths, more nudity, and more snakes."

While we at Fametracker have already commented on the "snakes on a plane" premise, we do feel that a "more gore, more deaths, more nudity, and more snakes" plan for improvement -- or "The MGMDMNMS Approach" -- is one we can readily endorse. Herewith, we examine some recent less than satisfying films, and how they might have been improved:

The Shaggy Dog

Old Synopsis: A man tries to live a normal life despite the fact that he sometimes turns into a sheepdog.
New Synopsis: A man tries to live a normal life, despite the fact that he sometimes turns into a sheepdog and is also covered in venomous snakes, which kill Kristin Davis, though not before stripping her clothes off.

She's The Man

Old Synopsis: Viola (Amanda Bynes) poses as her twin brother at an elite boarding school in order to play on the all-boys soccer team.
New Synopsis: Venomous snakes are released into the boys's locker-room at an elite boarding school. Soccer players are eaten, then disgorged, then eaten again. One of the soccer players turns out to be Amanda Bynes, posing as a boy, but no one notices, because she just got eaten by a motherfucking snake.

Failure To Launch

Old Synopsis: The father (Terry Bradshaw) and mother (Kathy Bates) of a thirtysomething slacker (Matthew McConaughey) who refuses to leave home hire a woman (Sarah Jessica Parker) to encourage him; she falls in love with him.
New Synopsis: Terry Bradshaw unleashes motherfucking venomous snakes on Matthew McConaughey. Sarah Jessica Parker enters, is disrobed, and is then disemboweled. Kathy Bates yells, "I want this motherfucking slacker off of this motherfucking couch!"

Eight Below

Old Synopsis: A sledding team in Antarctica is forced to leave behind its team of eight sled dogs, who then have to fend for themselves in order to survive, relying on their wits -- and each other.
New Synopsis: You know what else lives in the Antarctic? Motherfucking snakes. You wouldn't think so, given the cold. Especially if you were Paul Walker, who's stripped naked by the snakes, then disemboweled, and then has his innards fed to the huskies. At first, the dogs are relieved to get the fresh, hot meal -- until the snakes jump on them and eat them too. Yum. Well-fed huskies are delicious.

The Pink Panther

Old Synopsis: Steve Martin stars as Inspector Clouseau in a remake of the classic Peter Sellers comedy.
New Synopsis: Film executives discuss a remake of The Pink Panther. Someone suggests Steve Martin. Venomous snakes are released into the room, killing everyone.