The Osbournes did it. Anna Nicole Smith did it. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey just cannot stop doing it -- starring in a "celebrity" reality show, that is! Back when one-time pop star Britney Spears married deadbeat dad/background dancer Kevin Federline, there was talk that his baby mama, Shar Jackson, might get her own reality vehicle, but we all knew which show we really wanted to see: the one where the girl Shar lost Kevin to obliviously embarrasses herself for our viewing pleasure. And now the gods of schadenfreude have heard our prayers, and UPN is readying a reality show about Spears and Federline -- largely made up of their own home videos, but including their present-day commentary on same -- to debut as early as next month. Y'all...it's going to be a brilliant train wreck, and nobody had better pull the emergency brake.

But what on earth will UPN call it? Executives recently held a brainstorming session, and we've obtained the minutes:

Stank

G-String Diva

Dancing Barefoot

Fed X

Suck On This, False Tabloids!

America's Next Top Mouth-breather

Marries Spears

Spears In Heaven

Spears In Kevin

Spears Of A Clown

96 Spears

Spears On My Pillow, Pain In My Ass

Spears For Fears

Fears For Spears

Don't You Know That Spears Are Not Enough?

Even Newerlyweds

Juggs

Red Bullspit

Mr. And Mrs. Smith

Trailer Park Confessions

Suck On This, Pepsi!

Non-Toxic

I'll Love Honor And Obey 4 You

Us Against The Pre-Nup

I've Just Begun (Spending Her Money)

Control Your Woman

Suck On This, Shar!

ProTool My Marriage

Cheetos And Chafing

Look How Much Money We Have

Married...With Another Woman's Children

Drunk About You

Moonlighting

Kevinly Father

Offensive Federlineman

Private Dancer

The Next Great Chump

Stepmom

Lynne's Complaint