1. She originally surfaced among a wave of post-Britney soundalikes (Christina Aguilera, Mandy Moore, et al), marketing herself as just like Britney, but less slutty.

• For grossly misunderstanding nature of Britney Spears's appeal: -3

2. After disappearing from the spotlight, she married former boy-band member Nick Lachey of 98 Degrees in October, 2002; the pair went on to star in the cult-hit reality series Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.

• For understanding that two marginal celebrities can sometimes fortify each other exponentially through mating: +5
• For understanding that there is no career so stagnant that it can't be invigorated by a self-mocking reality series +5

3. Her resurgent career cleared the way for the ascendance of her younger, "punk rock" sister, Ashlee.

• For unintentionally aiding in her own redundancy: -2
• For ensuring that, forevermore, the already near-useless phrase "punk rock" will mean simply "the one with black hair": -2

4. She's racked up over twenty-five credits (and counting) as "Herself," including an appearance on a TV special on which she was crowned Maxim's #1 Hottest Woman.

• For cementing position as 21st-century Zsa Zsa Gabor: +2
• For prompting nation of randy frat boys to thrust hands vigourously into own drawers: +1

5. She's landed her first ever acting role, as "Daisy Duke" in a Dukes of Hazzard film.

• For cementing position as 21st-century Catherine Bach: -1
• For not realizing that things don't work out so hot for the 20th-century Catherine Bach: -3

Mate Rating » 2 out of 10

When Stars Split: The Methodology

When you're a fully-fledged celebrity, doing nothing in your spare time but appearing on talk shows and soaking up free champagne at movie premieres, it stands to reason that the only people you ever meet are other celebrities. Hence: The All-Celebrity Hook-up, which very often makes a successful transition to The All-Celebrity Relationship.

But the overwhelming majority of All-Celebrity Relationships carry the seeds of their own destruction: each mate is forever being exposed to other likely prospects, the public gets bored seeing the same two faces together all the time, and let's face it: breakups get much more press than happy marriages do.

When Stars Split is a service of Fametracker for celebrities ending their relationships with other celebrities. Fametracker will use this space to determine who in recently busted-up celeb/celeb pairings leaves the partnership with the advantage, and who leaves used-up and broken-down.

1. He surfaced originally as part of a wave of post-Backstreet Boys soundalike bands (N Sync, O-Town, et al), appearing as a member of 98 Degrees, who were marketed as just like the Backstreet Boys, but more unintentionally homoerotic.

• For accidentally exploiting the true nature of the Backstreet Boys appeal: +3

2. He attended the same high school as Carmen Electra.

• For actually seeming like the less-fame-worthy person in a pairing with Carmen Electra. Carmen Electra!: -2

3. In early 2002, 98 Degrees announced on their website that they were taking a break, and would be accepting no new members to their fan club.

• Because, you know, at that point the applications must have been pouring in: -2

4. After disappearing from the spotlight, he married fading bubblegum popster Jessica Simpson in October, 2002; the pair went on to star in the cult-hit reality series Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica.

• For understanding that two marginal celebrities can sometimes fortify each other exponentially through mating: +5
• For cannily masking own blandness by hitching up with more attractive, more unintentionally-hilarious-quote-prone mate: +5

5. He called his wife a "pampered bimbo" on their show, fueling rumors that a split may be imminent.

• What? Now he notices?: -2
• For tragically overestimating nation's desire to ever see the name "Nick Lachey" ever again, if not followed by "& Jessica Simpson": -3

Mate Rating » 4 out of 10

You might assume that a split between this Donny & Marie-ish couple (except they actually can kiss each other without getting arrested) will mean lights out for both their careers, but that may not be the case. After all, Cher soared to stardom after splitting with Sonny. Then again, it's difficult to imagine a future in which Jessica Simpson -- who rose to stardom largely on her pet phrases for shitting and her inability to comprehend the nature of canned tuna -- can reinvent herself as an Oscar-winning actress and, even more improbably, a gay icon. Lachey, on the other hand, is clearly the hanger-on in this twosome, yet his future might actually be brighter than hers. Who would have guessed back in the '60s that the fur-vest-wearing Sonny Bono would go on to become a Congressman? Is it really so hard to see a Lachey running for office thirty years from now? Remember: Americans have elected both Schwarzenegger and Gopher from Love Boat. For Simpson, we can't see things getting better; she's built her fame on being (a) pretty and (b) dumb, and she's not going to get any prettier nor, we assume, any dumber. Lachey, though, could go either way. We predict one of two fates: either he'll become some sad, seedy hybrid of Donny Osmond and Frank Gifford, squeezing in starring roles at local dinner theatres between tabloid-trumpeted affairs and arrests for DUI; or he'll enjoy a successful political career as Representative Lachey, squeezing in photo ops and speeches between tabloid-trumpeted affairs and arrests for DUI.