|
We here at Fametracker pride ourselves on our objective approach to the business of auditing of fame. We don't judge (usually), we don't root (excessively), we simply audit -- as fairly and impassively as possible.
Sure, every once in a while we might forward someone whom we feel is egregiously lacking in fame. And, on occasion, we've been right. Russell Crowe, for example. Or Will Ferrell. (We're still waiting for the Giancarlo Esposito break-out year, but to paraphrase Billy Crystal: Don't leave, Giancarlo. We still love you.)
(That is the last time we will ever paraphrase Billy Crystal.)
Now, once again, we'd like to draw your attention to someone whose fame is thus far lacking. In this case, though, we don't feel the need to stump, or plead, or bang a gong. Maria Bello, we are sure, will be plenty famous in time. Plenty famous. We understand that deals are being made even now at the First Hollywood Bank of Fame to transfer all of Minnie Driver's remaining fame to Ms. Bello's account. No, it won't be enough. But it's a start.
The estimable Wing Chun, of course, was far out ahead of the curve on this, as on all things. Back when Bello was starring in Coyote Ugly, Wing paired her in a battle royale against fellow Wholesome Yet Sensual Thirtysomething Mary McCormack. Even then, Bello held the advantage. Since then, given her superb performances in The Cooler and, more recently, Secret Window -- not to mention her Golden Globe nomination -- we venture to say the advantage has grown. We have nothing against Mary McCormack, but at this point, Bello is giving McCormack a McCor-smack.
We think Bello should be a big star. We know Hollywood isn't notoriously kind to woman in their mid-to-late thirties, but come on -- Kirsten Dunst can't play every part. (Seriously, Hollywood -- she can't. Save some for the fishes.)
Obviously, what Hollywood needs -- though it may not have known it until right this very minute -- is someone who comes off as the product of a gene splice between Sharon Stone and Frances McDormand. In other words, Maria Bello.
In The Cooler, for example, Bello actually convinced us, against our better judgment, that someone as great-looking as she had fallen in love with someone as William H. Macy-looking as William H. Macy. (Actually, that's not fair, since Felicity Huffman is similarly great-looking and similarly convincing. But you get our meaning.)
And in Secret Window, Bello takes a thankless role as a cheating wife (thankless largely because she has to hang off the arm of Timothy Hutton, who's looking more and more like Tim Allen) and actually invests it with some real human feeling! In a Stephen King film! Just who does this woman think she is?!
This is why we'll be going door to door in our Maria Bello Fame Drive. We'll be collecting fame -- whatever you can spare. We've already collected all of Minnie Driver's fame, but we need more. Please give generously. Come on, Kirsten Dunst -- you know you've got a surplus. We're not asking for all of it. Oh -- hold it right there, Brittany Murphy. From you, we're asking for all of it. Don't squirm. It's for a good cause.
|
