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Way back in the Stone Ages, when we were pitting Greg Kinnear against Jay Mohr in the 2 Stars, 1 Slot "Battle of the Alternately Loathsome and Lovable Frat-Boy Types," we never expected we'd be Fame-Auditing him five years later. In anticipation of his leading role in a major Hollywood horror film. In which he stars opposite Robert De Niro.
Had we ventured a guess on Greg Kinnear's long-term career prospects, we might have said, "Host of The New Hollywood Squares. Or, maybe, "Starring on The Even Later Show With Greg Kinnear." Or, if we were feeling generous, we might have gone so far as, "Playing the sleazy manager of a TV station on a sitcom called Weather Or Not, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt as a hapless but sassy weather girl." (Remember, this was five years ago -- Jennifer Love Hewitt was famous back then.)
We certainly wouldn't have said, "Kinnear? Oh, yeah -- he'll be an interesting actor who alternates high-profile starring roles with deft comedic turns and daring leads in risqué indie films about notorious perverts." Any more than we'd predict that career now for, say, Roger Lodge, host of Blind Date.
We also most certainly wouldn't have given the 2 Stars, 1 Slot advantage to Jay Mohr. Who, as it happens, was last seen hosting a game show.
Granted, Kinnear did have an Oscar nomination back then. And whatever you thought of his turn as the swishy neighbour in the ludicrously overpraised As Good As It Gets, you have to admit it was a brave choice for a guy who could have very easily nestled into his niche as Hollywood's go-to smarmy bastard in films like Nurse Betty, Mystery Men, Someone Like You, and A Smile Like Yours. How many people would have bet that, of the film's stars, Greg Kinnear's career would blossom while Helen Hunt's would wind up on the side of a milk carton?
And yet, here we are in 2004, and Kinnear is having the last laugh, or at least a hearty chuckle. Other actors may grumble that they're not getting the right scripts, or that they're always always being typecast, or that there just aren't any meaty parts out there. Clearly, they need to investigate whatever it is that Kinnear's been sprinkling on his Cheerios -- or at least have a sitdown with his agent. Because Kinnear has, quietly and efficiently, put together one of the most impressive resumes of any mid-level actor -- and by far the most impressive of any mid-level actor who once hosted Talk Soup. Sorry, Hal Sparks. But it's true.
Kinnear's done almost everything right. You want indie cred? He starred as the unsavoury Bob Crane in Paul Schrader's Auto Focus. You want comic chops? He did yeoman's work in the surprisingly endearing Stuck On You, which was definitely one of the top five conjoined-twin comedies of 2003. You want Hollywood paydays? He can currently be seen cashing a hefty cheque for his lead in the spooky "Why, oh, why did I clone my son?!?" thriller Godsend.
Seriously, Greg Kinnear has no business being this versatile. Look at him! The man reeks of game-show host! He should be tapping index cards on a desk and chuckling a fake, talk-show host chuckle at some idiotic anecdote related by Daryl Hannah. He's so talk-show-hosty that one of his very first screen roles was credited as, simply, "Talk Show Host." That smile! That smarmy charm! That Captain Fantastic bravado! What is going on here!?!
And you know what the weirdest part is? Not that he's starring in a throwaway horror film with Robert De Niro, but that his presence in said film actually makes us want to see it a little bit more! Greg Kinnear! Next thing you know, we're going to be picking up Dear God at Blockbuster and being all like, "This doesn't look so bad"! Or watching that terrible Sabrina remake on cable! Again! Damn you, Kinnear!
All right, you can be more famous. Jerk.
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