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Go ahead. Trash Hollywood all you like. Complain that it routinely glorifies attractive, well-endowed lookalikes over the quirky, the talented, and the bold. We don't disagree. But we are glad -- very glad -- that every once in awhile something like this happens: a great-acting, good-natured, self-mocking, hot-date-to-the-Oscar-bringing, hokey-project-elevating sixty-something gay knight becomes the hottest actor in Hollywood.
Are we being hyperbolic? Maybe. Are we unsure exactly what "hyperbolic" means? Perhaps. But we do know this: Sir Ian McKellen looks to be having more fun that just about anyone.
Check him out -- racing through Lord of the Rings with his white locks a-flowin' and his white robes a-ripplin'! Marvel as he pilots that galloping steed as it shows him the meaning of haste! Watch him swing that quarterstaff, breaking Orcs' jaws and brave men's hearts! Plus, he's got the funniest line in the whole of Return of the Kings -- and we haven't even started talking about the X-Men movies yet.
Offscreen, he's just as bad-ass. He may wear long chin-whiskers as Gandalf, but in real life there's not a beard in sight. Instead, he was escorted to the Oscars by a boyfriend who, if we recall, looked something like Rupert Everett. Guess who was the envy of the men's room line that night.
And don't even think that Sir Ian McKellen is some Hollywood sellout -- though he is, and more power to him. We wish every excellent Shakespearean British actor would sail over here to spice up our limp blockbusters. (Actually, quite a few of them already have.)
We think, for that matter, that Sir Ian McKellen should be a required element in every big movie franchise from now on. Harry Potter? Where's the Ian? And wouldn't the Star Wars disasters have been way, way better if Sir Ian had just joined the Jedi? No "midichlorion" bull-crap for S.I. McK -- no sir. Just sabre fights and sharp retorts and that excellent grin of his.
And what about The Matrix? Imagine Sir Ian as the Architect. Keanu intones flatly, "They say you built the Matrix." To which our boy Sir Ian replies acidly, "Oh. Is that what they say?"
Okay, we stole that line from X2, but it was worth stealing, because it was the best-delivered line of the year. It gave us goosebumps in the trailer, for crying out loud.
Granted, Apt Pupil was terrible and embarrassing for all involved, but at least Sir Ian didn't crack a smile while Bryan Singer had him goosestepping in front of his household oven. And he more than made up for it in God & Monsters, not least for convincing us that he thought Brendan Fraser was hot.
Actually, he probably did think Brendan Fraser was hot.
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