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There is an alternate universe in which Paul Rudd is a much bigger star than he is here, and we'd like to know when the next train is leaving. (Or shuttle, or pod-ship, or whatever vehicle might best accommodate inter-dimensional travel. Shut up.)
We suspect a lot of people would be interested in living in that universe as well, though Paul Rudd might not be one of them. For starters, Rudd's current fame level is decently high -- he just enjoyed a long, series-ending guest role on Friends and is about to ride the huge Ferrellian wave called Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy as it crashes over theatres this weekend. This, we guess, would put him just above the fame-level at which he's routinely stopped in Starbucks, but still below the level at which paparazzi hide out in his bushes. This seems like a pretty good level.
We, however, would like to live in that alternate universe because obviously those people in that universe have much better taste than all of us do. To illustrate this, let's set Paul Rudd up in a series of showdowns with more famous stars of all stripes, then decide which one is more likable, more talented and more appealing:
Ethan Hawke vs. Rudd: Rudd.
Vin Diesel vs. Rudd: Rudd.
Josh Hartnett vs. Rudd: Rudd.
Matthew Perry vs. Rudd: Rudd.
Ben Affleck vs. Rudd: Rudd.
Charlie Sheen vs. Rudd: Rudd. Rudd Rudd Rudd.
Colin Farrell vs. Rudd: Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddddd.
Perhaps, at age thirty-five, Rudd's not really in direct competition with teenybopper bait like Hartnett or even Colin Farrell. But you see our point. Paul Rudd, frankly, has got it going on. What is it? Well, take your pick. Does he do comedy? He does comedy. His vain, petulant stud was the funniest thing in Wet Hot American Summer, a movie not short on funny things.
Can he do serious? He does serious. He was in Baz Luhrmann's Romeo + Juliet or, as we like to call it, "Romeo Plus Juliet" or "Romeo and Juliet, Sitting in a Tree." He starred in The Shape of Things on Broadway, then in the movie. The Shape of Things! It has the word "shape" and the word "things" in the title! Clearly, it's serious!
Is he cute? He's cute! Look at him. Now he's doing a modeling gig for some menswear company. And why not? When he shows up on The Daily Show, he's all effortlessly put together in that stylish way that we like to think we'd be, if we were minor celebrities. Even though we know that, should we ever attain any sort of celebrity, we'd dress more like Ali G.
You know, he was even funny in that atrocious Jennifer Aniston vehicle, The Object of My Affection. And if you can do that, you're capable of anything.
And now here he comes as Brian Fantana, one of Anchorman's fantastic foursome. We predict that, post Anchorman, Rudd will be even more famous than he is now -- perhaps even more famous than he'd like -- though he still won't as famous as we'd like. And he won't be as famous as he is in that theoretical alternate universe. But he'll probably be famous enough that he just might find someone hiding in his bushes. And that someone just might be us.
Er, paparazzi. We meant to say paparazzi.
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