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Stop. Enough. No mas.
Has anyone, anywhere, ever coasted as long on one film, one role -- nay, one scene -- as long as Sharon Stone? Gotten so much mileage out of one insouciant uncrossing -- one fleeting, accidentally-on-purpose peep show? Porn stars everywhere must be kicking themselves -- kicking themselves -- for they joylessly provide the same vista literally dozens of times each performance, yet none of them, not one, has parlayed these recurrent flashes into movie stardom. How can that be? Simple. Beelzebub doesn't own their souls.
But he must own Sharon Stone's -- he must. How else to explain it? The Mighty? The Muse? Last Dance? Diabolique? Catwalk? The Specialist? Intersection? Sliver? Sphere?
It's one thing for a long-time staple B-Movie babe (and that she was, my friends; make no mistake -- or do we need to sit you down with King Solomon's Mines, Allan Quartermain and the Lost City of Gold, Above the Law and Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol?) to land a plum role in a high-profile but scandalous film that no other "name" actress will touch, only to have it launch her into the limelight, a legitimate career, and a throne among Hollywood's royalty. Sure! Why not? We love a good Cinderella story just like everyone else! But shouldn't she have to do at least one good movie in the ensuing seven years? Just one? Maybe half a good movie? Otherwise, the Cinderella story ends as: "And she made movies crappily ever after."
Don't even say Casino, either. Saying that Sharon Stone was good in Casino is like saying Kim Basinger was good in L.A. Confidential or Madonna was good in Evita or Courtney Love was good in The People vs. Larry Flynt. It's essentially the same as saying, "Hey -- that person didn't out-and-out suck! That person wasn't nearly as terrible as I had every right to expect them to be! Huzzah!" Yes, they give out Oscars for performances like that nowadays, but should they? No. It's insulting to actual actors, and it makes us weak as a nation, and as a people.
And so we say again: Stop. Enough. No mas. You have a rich husband now. No one needs to get hurt. Just let it go and slowly step away from the fame. Step...away..from...the...fame.
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