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"You shit on my house. You shit on my house." This line, of course, is the greatest moment in the pretty great career of Courtney Gains. Sure, you may know him as Hans Klopek from The 'Burbs, or as Eugene from Memphis Belle or, more than likely, as Malachai from Stephen King's Children of the Corn. But it was as Kenneth Wurman in Can't Buy Me Love that Courtney Gains -- not Courtney Love, not Courtney Vance, Courtney Gains -- enjoyed his finest, most fiery, slamming-Patrick-Dempsey-up-against-the- arcade-gamingest moment. Long story short: Dempsey had become popular by buying the affections of the school's most popular girl, and had, through a combination of unfortunate circumstances and questionable choices, found himself throwing shit at the house of his former best friend and king of the high school nerds, Kenneth Wurman. And Wurman was having none of it.

Also: with his peculiar looks, Courtney Gains has always been comfortable playing nerds, geeks and misfits of all stripes.

Also: on a personal note, I have red hair. As a teen, I had good days (few), and bad days (plenty). On the good days, people would sometimes say I looked like Eric Stoltz. (People are cognitively incapable of associating a red-haired person with any one but another red-haired person.) On the bad days, they'd say that I looked like the guy from Colors. They were talking about Courtney Gains. All things considered, I preferred Eric Stoltz.