· Image Search

There are certain character actors who seem to pop up in every other movie; then there are character actors like J.K. Simmons. Simmons hasn't appeared in a wide range of parts, but the ones he has played always leave an impression.

Take, for example, his signature role, that of prisoner #92S110, better known as Vern Schillinger, the resident Nazi psychopath on HBO's prison drama Oz. We'd venture a guess that, if Schillinger had turned up in, say, an FBI movie starring Jodie Foster and not an acclaimed but relatively little-seen prison drama on premium cable, he'd already be ensconced in pop-culture's annals of classic villainy, right up there with Mr. Hannibal Lecter himself. This might sound far-fetched, but then again, if it does, you probably haven't seen J.K. Simmons brand a swastika on the ass cheek of a neophyte prison bitch.

And if you haven't seen that, brother, you haven't really lived.

You may also recognize J.K. Simmons from his recurring role on Law & Order as Dr. Emil Skoda -- a character type that's been tragically underrepresented on primetime TV: namely, the sardonic, cynical criminal psychologist. Skoda is a refreshing change from the previous psychologist, Dr. Elizabeth Olivet, who was always complaining about something or other and getting herself tangled up in the psychosis of the criminals she interviewed. Skoda, on the other hand, is cool like lemonade, and sometimes seems like he might have ended up as a criminal psychopath himself, if he hadn't done so well on the MCAT.

Simmons has also appeared in Extreme Measures, The Gift, and The Cider House Rules, among other parts in less memorable films. He played, somewhat incongruously, a brilliant surgeon in the maudlin, Winona-is-dying film Autumn in New York, though his performance was marred by the expectation that he might, at any moment, burn a swastika on the ass cheek of Richard Gere. (Sadly, this expectation went unfulfilled.)

Other than his Oz and Law & Order parts -- and his current one as the bellowing J. Jonah Jameson in Spider-Man -- Simmons hasn't had too many showcase assignments. He certainly hasn't had enough. We'd argue that, of all the character actors working today, Simmons might be the one most likely to fill the formidable and too-long-empty shoes of the late, great J.T. Walsh. Both actors possess(ed) a rare blend of easy charm and coiled menace -­ both must-have qualities if you want to play banal psychopaths. Also, J.K. kind of sounds like J.T., which can't hurt.

J.K. Simmons is also the voice of the yellow M&M on the animated candy commercials. Knowing this makes it easier to play a fun game while watching M&M commercials. The next time you see one of these commercials, imagine the yellow M&M telling the red M&M to "suck my dick, you sniveling bitch." Okay, it's not really a "game." But it is fun.